With a hearty stretch and stifled sigh
I emerged from covers warm,
And eyed the rays of the rising sun
As I thought of my neighbour Norm.
Now Norm was a man of the hardy kind
Who are out at the * crack of dawn,
If you walk with him you will fall behind
And you’ll sweat in the clothes you’ve worn.
And I did recall as I lay forlorn
Of his challenge for me to go,
When he’d walk on a cold and frosty morn
As fog and clouds hung low.
So I straightened out with a turned down lip
And I looked for my walking stuff,
I fumed as I thought of the evening slip
So sure I had Norman’s bluff.
For Norm had complained of an injured back
And in jest I feigned displeasure,
Said I’d hoped that he’d share his track attack
Next morning regardless the weather.
Now Norm wasn’t quick on the humour side
So he carefully thought things through,
He was loathe to let good friendship slide
For he cared for this friend * true blue.
He called to his wife and they conversed long
And his Nell nodded toward our place,
Then she went to work on those muscles strong
With her skill and her wifely grace.
Then I went inside and I told Danielle
That Norm was the butt of a joke,
He’d be much too sore it was plain to tell
I could sleep like a * pig in a poke.
Then at 10 pm by my trusty clock
There’s a knock and the front bell rang,
Danielle was the one to release the lock
Entering in through the door Norm sprang
“Me wife has the skill of the ancient Druids
And she’s done good job I think,
With her poultices and some nice warm fluids
Now me back’s feelin * in the pink!”
“I’d been feelin’ quite out of sorts you see
And teemorra been a bit * iffy,
But you looked so painfully sad to me
Nell fixed me back * in a jiffy.”
‘Twas after he left Danielle * cracked up
Tears of mirth trickled down her cheek,
She shook with her mirth as she raised her cup
To a neighbour quiet and meek.
There was no way out for this clever gent
And I’d have to take my beating,
For its friends like Norm that heaven sent
To prevent a man from cheating.
I can see Danielle at the window pane
And she waves with a big wide smile,
While we head breakneck down the country lane
On the start of our first five mile.
“© Copyright Ian Grice 2014, all rights reserved”
Nb. The above image is property of breadwig_com
Oz Talk explanations
• Crack of dawn – daybreak
• True Blue – faithful friend
• Pig in a Poke – snuggled in securely
• In the pink – healthy
• Iffy – not quite right
• In a jiffy – quickly
• Cracked up – laughed until sides hurt