Hannah’s Difficult Years

On the return journey to Germany Mareike shared her wish to adopt the little girl Haima and to her relief Baron readily agreed. So, Mareike immediately contacted Katiya on their return to confirm they’d arrived home without incident and broached the subject of adoption. Katiya said she’d send regulations to be followed so they could consider the matter carefully and then get back to her. Getting a positive feedback Katiya advised the prospective adoptive parent was to upload their application for adoption and relevant documents on the CARA website and that being part of Katiya’s overview she’d have her friends in the department be on the alert to report back to her when received so she could get favors from those responsible of decision making in giving a positive recommendation for her friend. She knew Haima was the one Mareike was interested in and checked to see the little girl was still available for adoption. She was.

It was a long and involved process but one year later Baron and Mareike met the one who’d been assigned to deliver the young girl at the airport and took them both home. Getting approval from India to adopt had been a long and tortuous process but getting permission from Germany to adopt a foreign child was no less stressful. But now the little girl with entry documents Hanna Schultz the closest the Shultz parents could get to her original name showed this girl was now theirs. Haima didn’t take long to begin to understand some of the basic communications in German. She was familiar with hearing English used in the orphanage as it was common for that to be used along with Hindi the language of choice and could understand the rudimentary communications in those languages.

She was just as fascinated with Mareike as she’d been at the orphanage in the first encounter between the two. But she didn’t warm to Baron quickly for some reason so they reasoned there must have been something in the child’s very earliest years that had instilled caution into her but over time she began to warm to her new father, and he showered attention and love on her. Initially they’d employed a live in Indian nanny resident in Germany because her parents had migrated there long ago. She understood Hindi so could help the child transition to the use of German having gone through this herself. This young lady took over from the one who had to return to India and government employ there after a week orienting the young child in her new cultural setting.

This arrangement with the young lady was temporary while Mareike struggled with the thought of giving up her career for the present to be a stay-at-home mother. Baron encouraged that as they were well off and not in need of that combined income. But the pull of motherhood was strong, and Mareike gave notice at a bank reluctant to let her go. Someday when the child was old enough Mareike would return to her profession, but she’d pour her motherly love into this young girl until at maturity it would be time for her to make her own way in life with the goodwill of her adoptive parents.

Hanna felt that point of maturity had come, and this was to be a visit like none before for her. She’d always been aware of the fact she was a brown-skinned girl with white parents. It had been a puzzle in her early childhood and a constant point of interest for her in conversation as she worked together in the kitchen with her mother or shared relaxing time together. She’d place her arm against her mother and ask over and over why her mother didn’t have the same color skin. Mareike had always laughed it off and said she was created more special than her mother and this was the result.

But that didn’t satisfy a curious mind. The kids at school in elementary years were friendly but undiplomatic in their children’s wisdom. They told her people who were not German didn’t have white skin. But Hanna knew she was German because she had documents declaring she was German shown to her from an early age. High School she became aware there were a small group of students who avoided her because she was not a natural born child of the German race. This was hurtful and she asked her parents again why that was so. Her parents told her that no matter what color her skin was white or brown there’d always be those who thought they were superior, but her father said they were ignorant, and she should avoid them in turn. She finally concluded it was a puzzle without an answer but two years ago on a visit with her self-adoptive cousins in Delhi one of them had casually remarked she was adopted by the ones she’d always viewed as her parents. This had been devastating to her and Aunt Katiya had beaten her cousin with a stick over the remark and forced him to apologize, which he immediately did. He told her he’d only said that as a joke and never intended to hurt her.

On return home she confronted her parents who realized that honesty was the best policy. Hanna wanted to know why her real parents had abandoned her and why Baron and Mareike would want her when her own flesh and blood had discarded her. Was it genuine love that had prompted the adoption or were they just sorry for her in a detached way? It was important for her to know as she felt worthless now. She needed to find her birth parents and see why they’d abandoned her.

Now she was arriving in Delhi to beg her aunt to help her find her birth parents as she knew that was the kind of work Katiya had been engaged in so if anyone knew the answer it had to be her aunt.

She remembered the tears shed by her adoptive mother when Mareike’s love for her had come into question, how her father had moved around the home sad for a while. Mareike had loved the girl from the first time they made contact in the orphanage about twenty years ago and pulled out all stops to solve the adoption hurdles. To have the genuineness of her love questioned after all these years was devastating. She shared this in her internet conversations with Katiya who was equally distressed and suggested they send her over for her to work with for a while.

Hannah went through immigration and customs mechanically and met at the entrance of the airport by her aunt who whisked her off home and set up a round of duties to keep her occupied having her accompany Katiya on some of her appointments to keep her mind focused and involving her in some of the social work. Hannah did what was required of her, trying to pluck up courage to request her aunt’s help in finding her birth parents. Eventually she made her request and aunt Katiya took her out into the garden and sat down with her thinking of the best way to deal with the situation so this damaged girl could see things clearly. She pulled the now young woman close to her and rested her head on her shoulder.

“We all love you Hannah but the ones who love you the most are my friends Baron and Mareike who I look on as close family members despite the fact they are not of our race. I still remember the first time Mareike saw you coming toward her with outstretched arms in the orphanage and it was instant love between the both of you. The supervisor tried to take you away, but Mareike picked you up and let you examine her closely. Then she said I must have that child this is not the place for her, and I need a child to pour my love on. It was hard to get permission from India and Germany, but your parents fought for you and from my observations you all bonded together. I know what the purpose is for you to be making this trip and that is to find your birth parents. There are no records to show who bought you and left you secretly to the front entrance of the orphanage.”

“In many cases the police can find the birth parents and we collaborate with them to see if they will reconsider and take the child back and raise it as proper parents should, and we ask why they’d do such a thing. In so many cases we find a mother was compelled by circumstances to give the child up by parents or husband because there were just too many in the family to feed properly. While the mother particularly desperately wanted to keep the child because she loved them, she knew someone with resources to adopt and give the child a safe and fulfilling life would make the sacrifice and care for them as she was unable to do.”

“I think from my experience interviewing mothers who tried to abandon their children your mother would be one of those though we have no idea who that mystery woman is but from my experience in social work you’ll never be forgotten by your birth mother at least. If that’s the usual case, then you were not abandoned but gifted a good life opportunity. So, two mothers love you. One you’ll never meet because hurtful as it was for your birth mother, she’s gifted you a good life and most importantly you have been gifted the love of your real mother who has poured her love into you for eighteen years. Questioning that love Hannah has done your real parents harm and I hope you’ll make that right when you return to Germany after this vacation. What do you think?”

Hannah kept her head on Katiya’s shoulder while she thought over what had been said and suddenly realized she’d not been abandoned but gifted by a loving mother she’d never known. But she had a loving mother she did know and now realized how much her adoptive parents had been hurt by what they would have perceived was a rejection of them by the one they’d poured themselves into unselfishly for the past eighteen years when she went on this journey to find her birth parents. She turned to look at her aunt.

“Thank you, aunty, for telling me that. I love you and can now see how foolish I’ve been for a year now and how much my parents must have been hurting during that time. They were so patient with me. Is it OK for me to phone them now? If you give me your modem number again, I can enter my iPhone and do a Facetime call, and it won’t cost long distance phone tariff.”

Ten minutes later Mareike’s phone rang, and she noted an incoming video call to accept. It was Hannah and she rushed to accept the call hoping everything was OK.

“Hi mother?” she said in textbook German having switched from the recent English conversation with her aunt to the language that was now hers.

“I just phoned to say I love you and dad, and I’ve discovered my roots. They are very clearly in Munich with my real family.

Mareike cried for a while in relief before answering her daughter and they had an enjoyable conversation catching up on what Hannah had been doing in Delhi before signing off. Mareike was at peace now and phoned Baron to give him the good news Hannah had found her roots were with them and birth parents would never be a topic of conversation again.

Conclusion.

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