Cultural Assimilation

Jay spoke as he moved to address his father.

“Adaraniy pita if you’re missing Gujarat so much then why don’t you return to help the family out as requested. As for us we want to make our future here in this new country and I’m prepared to manage your business affairs for you while you’re gone. How will such a return to India affect your application for citizenship here though? You need to think that through carefully before making a commitment. Perhaps you could fly in and out of the country frequently to keep that option open and still declare your place of residence here.”

 Chandrakant agreed to return to India and to the old administrative job he did so well for the sake of family fortunes. But the Ambani’s would have to pay him a wage and care for his frequent returns to Australia so he could continue to classify his Sydney address as his permanent domicile and Jay would take over management of Chandrakant’s business. But the strain of handling such large spread of companies for the family in India soon told him it was time for the younger generation to take over and he’d noted one of his nephews was well qualified for the job with his business degree and experience working in both the US and England. The family agreed to this suggestion if it was under the supervision of the elder of the clan and Chandrakant and Alpana returned to Sydney and the glorious view from their home overlooking Sydney harbour.

It was on his return that Chandrakant had to face another shock. James Martin had been courting Hetvi in the absence of her father and this time Jay had distanced himself from the courtship. He didn’t want a repeat of another sister in hospital with attempted suicide before his family agreed to their marriage. Once again Thomas Martin made a trip to see Chandrakant Ambani to request marriage on his son’s behalf and this time Chandrakant didn’t hesitate in agreeing to that union though privately rued sending his daughters to Australia for their education and seeing this result. But he had to admit his daughters would be well cared for at a social level he could approve of. The two were married under similar circumstances to Brinda and Anthony with a huge attendance of relatives and university friends.

Jay feeling left out now and approaching his late twenties realized he needed someone to share his life with and requested his father look for a suitable bride for him. He’d make sure it was an Indian woman, and it was a traditional Hindu marriage. His parents were delighted that at least one of their children was following a correct path.

Chandrakant consulted with his elder brother who was now aging and handing over the headship of the clan to his remaining brother and requested he search for an appropriate young woman of high education, and several possibilities were found with guidance from a marriage consultant there. Chandrakant, Alpana and Jay made a trip to Ahmadabad to meet with those chosen to be interviewed and Jay lost his heart to one of his age Subashini Mookerjee a Bengali with a MA in Education. They were married with all the pomp and ceremony of an Indian wedding attended by the clan members including Brinda, Hetvi and the rest of the Martin family now considered to be related. The wedding took place in Calcutta home of the Mookerjee clan, and it was a grand celebration attended by educationalists and politicians connected with the family. The Martins were given great honour at the wedding and reception along with the Ambani’s. It was a costly Bollywood production at its best and the talk of Calcutta.

The Australian delegation arrived back in Sydney exhausted after this marathon ceremony that went on for a week before they had to return happy to be home but thrilled at what they’d experienced.

James and Hetvi having followed a similar path in their marriage to their siblings Anthony and Brinda stayed with the Martins until Hetvi graduated then moved north to Brisbane where James had found work with a company and Hetvi eventually found work with a real estate network.

Samuel was working through his undergraduate program and thinking about what he’d be doing when it was time for him to enter a master’s program. With his brothers now married he was feeling the loss of the fun they’d had together in the Martin home as they grew together so compensated for that by spending time at the club his father was a member of where there were adequate sports facilities to keep him engaged when not studying. And that’s where he met Susan who was equally motivated to study and engage in sports at the club. Over time they became a couple and June looked forward to yet another daughter in law to grace their family.

The Sydney Ambani’s soon became sought after as leaders in the Indian community and patron of several of their cultural centres and celebrations. They were very happy in these associations. Occasionally the Martins and Ambani’s would get together for joint family celebrations and on one of those occasions they had a chance to meet again with Jai’s wife Subashini now permitted to live in Australia and looking forward to someday getting her citizenship. June facilitated her getting a temporary job with one of the colleges in Sydney where she’d be assessed to see her qualifications covered the required Australian curricula and very soon, she was judged to be ready for fulltime employment. Subashini was loved by students who attended her classes from the beginning of her employment and proved to be an effective mentor to those who had special needs in education.

But all was not well with the marriage. While both Jay and Subashini were Indian and Hindu Jay was Gujarati and Subashini Bengali. Subashini’s father was one of the most respected professors in Calcutta University who taught literature and specialized in ancient writings in Sanskrit. He’d encouraged his children to love the literature of the ancients and the great writers of Bengal and while it was customary for daughters to be married off at a much younger age he allowed Subashini who have a great love for literature like her father to break that tradition and pursue higher studies to master’s level. This meant she’d been well beyond marriageable age by the time she finished her MA and those beyond what was considered marriageable age were looked on with suspicion in Bengali circles and passed over on the marriage market. So Mookerjee had to cast the net wider than Bengal when Subashini was put with the marriage broker to seek a partner in life and the net had to be cast wider beyond Bengali communities to seek that partner. That’s when the Mookerjee’s had been made aware of Jay Ambani also on the market and one year older than their daughter. The families had met and Jay and Subashini had agreed to the proposal and were married.

But now they were living together and learning that though both Indian there was a difference between the cultures of Gujarat and Bengal. Subashini loved the beauty of her Bengali language and though quite content to work in the English language for her teaching missed the intimacy of expressing in Bengali in a family relationship. Gujarati was OK in the Bazaar but not in the home. It jarred her. This was an arranged marriage so one of convenience and not love and that make it harder to bear. She missed the noise and bustle the discord and smells of her beloved Calcutta. She missed the mountains far north of Calcutta where the family-owned holiday property in the mountains and she could sit and view the Himalayas in the distance where her gods lived. Sydney was a neat and organized sterile environment to her but as a Hindu wife she tried to make the most of it.

She didn’t warm to her mother-in-law and had more leanings to June Martin who’d taken an interest in introducing her to the educational fraternity in Sydney and shepherded her through cultural adaption with their common love of literature. Alpana had noted this reserve and preference for June Martin and taken an instant dislike to her daughter in law. Alpana was not backward in letting her son Jay know of her unhappiness with Subashini and this had caused a further rift when Jay scolded her as he favoured his mother over his wife.

Subashini gradually sank into depression and turned to June Martin for comfort. The depression became so deep she eventually had to be treated by a doctor and was referred to a counsellor. They finally found an Indian qualified in counselling, but he was a Tamil from the south, and this just made things worse. The counsellor confided in Jay the only thing that could lift his wife out of this black hole of depression was a return to Bengal.

Jay was shocked and went to counsel with his father Chandrakant who then contacted the Mookerjee’s. Mookerjee loved his daughter dearly but realized it would be a tremendous loss of face to the Mookerjee family to have their daughter returned by her husband. He could not send his wife as she didn’t speak English so he took leave from the University and flew to Australia to see what could be done. Subashini was not informed when he arrived in Sydney when he booked into the Hilton hotel informing Chandrakant, he’d arrived to see how the rift between husband and wife could be healed. They all met together at the Hilton to resolve this unthinkable embarrassment.

When Subashini saw her father, she fell at his feet holding onto them and weeping uncontrollably, her father broke down and wept too while the Ambani’s looked on helplessly. It was obvious the marriage was doomed, and Jay turned and left the room leaving his father to deal with the situation. Next day Mookerjee picked up his daughter’s personal effects and headed for the airport with his daughter. His love for his daughter was so strong he’d weather the great loss of face and disapproval of the Mookerjee clan not accustomed to a breakup in marriage and rescue his precious daughter from this tragedy. Subashini would have limited prospects of an appropriate marriage within her culture now being viewed as used goods. Jay filed for divorce and this was not contested.

Jay returned to Ahmedabad and sought comfort in working with the Ambani family there while he recovered from his disappointment. He had to decide where his future would be soon as it impacted his request for citizenship. He wanted to make a life for himself in Australia as his circle of friends were there now along with his parents and siblings, he’d resigned his job to leave for India but could work with his father and decide on what to do in future. He needed the support of the extended family as he healed.

He was there for six months and during that time among his relatives he was urged to consider seeking a wife from one of his own community this time. They recommended a cousin who was five years younger to him, but he’d known her from his youth. She was now a woman and indicated through intermediaries’ she was willing to be his life partner when it was suggested to her. Jay watched her closely from the time this was suggested to him and the more he watched the more he liked her. She was a good-looking practicing Hindu and educated to bachelor’s level of education in English medium schools. Toward the end of his six months stay a marriage was planned and once again the family assembled from all corners of the globe to celebrate. Chandrakant and Alpana were present, and Brinda and Hetvi were able to get time off to attend too but their husbands were unable to leave their jobs so had to offer their apologies. This time the wedding ceremony was not as ostentatious as Jay’s original wedding but attended by all members of the clan and friends of the family.

It was during Jay’s stay in Ahmedabad the family learned of Gaurav’s demise. He’d been involved in corporate crime with criminal gangs and had obviously challenged the wrong persons in his aggressive style and been found dead on the streets of New Delhi. Because of these connections the family stayed away from any involvement with his funeral and had no idea what had finally happened to his body. But they mourned the loss of this prodigal member of their family who’d bought great disgrace on the Ambani name.

Jay returned to Sydney and was immediately put to work looking after his father’s business. It had potential for expansion and Jay poured his heart and soul into this venture to assuage his embarrassment over a failed marriage. It would be almost a year before Geeta was given permission to enter Australia with an appropriate visa granting residence.

But Jay was happy with his new cousin bride Geeta Ambani and her obvious joy in being around his parents Chandrakant and Alpana when she eventually arrived. Geeta performed all the duties expected by a mother-in-law and cared tenderly for her husband. She remained at the Ambani home overlooking the harbour and cared for the family who were now beginning to age. Geeta was soon pregnant after arrival and the family looked forward to the siblings first grandchild to be delivered to grandparents. It would be a notable event to be celebrated and despite his sisters being married before him as the eldest he still managed to produce that first grandchild. Brinda and Hetvi were present for the birth and felt the maternal instinct immediately on holding this child of their brother in their arms.  He was named Mohandas Ambani after the elder brother to Chandrakant who’d steered the Ambani family finances so capably during his productive years.

So, it was not surprising that soon after news filtered to the Martins and Ambani’s they were to become grandparents from the Martin siblings and their Gujarati wives. It was a great cause of celebration the Martin’s and Ambani’s shared together when the events happened one after another and the two Gujarati wives presented their children to the respective grandparents. Brinda produced a son they called James Thomas Martin and Hetvi produced a daughter they called Brinda June Martin.

Chandrakant decided to retire and spend the rest of his life enjoying his wife’s company and his grandchildren as they came along in turn leaving the business to be entirely run by Jay. Jay made it so successful they had to seek adequate land where a larger factory could be built, and Chandrakant temporarily came out of retirement to look after current business while Jay concentrated on the new buildings and strategic planning for future expansion. Within five years the new factory was prospering, and Jay was seeking suitable seasoned administrators to help run an expanding business.

Anthony was now the Chief Financial Officer of one of the private hospitals in Sydney and being headhunted by competitors who’d been impressed by his presentations to meetings of private hospital associations. Brinda was trying unsuccessfully to have more children.

James had joined a CPA firm in Brisbane and was completing his final CPA requirements having left his first employ soon after arriving in Brisbane. Thomas was keeping an eye on him and enticing him to come back to Sydney and join his firm when a vacancy occurred. Hetvi was doing well in the real estate market and very successful as one of the most productive sales representatives. But now she’d delivered her first child she discontinued work to spend full time with the child. She was very interested in the prospect of moving back to Sydney if a vacancy in Thomas Martin’s firm happened and James was called. Her mother could look after her children during the day, and she could return part time to real estate work.

Samuel Martin was now finished with his education and had prospects of a job teaching along with his girlfriend Susan Rogers. He’d vacationed with the Rogers family who were very happy with their daughter’s choice, and both had chosen education as their career much to the delight of June Martin. With her connections in educational circles she’d see they were cared for in a respectable school. Samuel and Susan were engaged and looking forward to marriage and their careers together. A year later with their employment assured a wedding took place. It was a traditional western wedding attended by relatives and the many friends they had from university years and those they’d met at the club and the Ambani’s were honoured guests at wedding and reception.

A vacancy occurred in Thomas Martins accounting and consulting firm and James was selected to fill a vacancy by the partners. They quickly sold up their home and packed their belongings and furnishings to make the trip back to Sydney much to Hetvi’s delight. They moved temporarily into the Martin’s Wahroonga property now that it was virtually empty with the children all now living in their own homes. Thomas and June were delighted to have company in the home once again and the Ambani’s were delighted to have their daughter and her child back in proximity. Hetvi was now carrying another child.

Anthony and Brinda had been trying for a second child but so far that had not happened, and Brinda was jealous of her younger sister because of that. Brinda was going through bedroom drawers doing a tidy up while she considered her predicament in not being able to conceive when she stumbled upon a silver box in one of Anthony’s drawers and she opened it and gasped with pleasure. It was the Rakhi she’d secretly placed in Anthony’s carry bag long ago. He’s taken the trouble to put it into a special box. A warm feeling came over her as she carefully removed it from the box. Why had she not noticed it before as they’d now been married for years it seemed, and he was still the most cherished of her life. She stopped her work and took it out to show her child playing on the floor with some trinkets.

“James Martin please look at what I gave to your father long ago when I came to Australia for the first time. I loved him then, but I love him more now that he has given you to me son. I must show this to your father when he comes home from work this evening to remind him what he signed up to when he accepted this.”

Baby James ignored her and continued to play with his toys. So, she went to the bedroom and placed it on the bed. Perhaps this will be the lucky charm to achieve what we’ve been trying to accomplish she thought. She wanted more children. She invoked the favour of her patron Laxmi the goddess of prosperity who the irreverent colonialist Raj had christened Lady Luck as she thought of Anthony’s return that evening. She reached for her cell phone and texted addressing her husband as Hunaman something she hadn’t done in quite a while now. She asked if he could get away from the hospital early that evening as there was something she needed him to do. Then she headed for the kitchen with James in her arms and put him in his highchair, so he’d be safe while she cooked.

She worked diligently preparing all the dishes she knew Anthony cherished and sang as she worked. Then she fed her son and waited impatiently for Anthony to come home. Eventually she heard the car in the driveway and scooped up James to meet her husband as he opened the door. Anthony folded them both into his arms as he stepped through the door and held them while Brinda luxuriated in his embrace. She loved her husband and son with all the love it was possible to give. He inquired as to what was so special that he was to hurry home that evening. Brinda said nothing but led him to the dining table and rushed to bring the food to the table while Anthony held his son. Anthony inquired as to what the special request was while appreciating each morsal set before him. At the end of the meal Brinda bought the sweetmeats normally served at the end of an Indian meal. She placed a Peda in her mouth and then bent down to transfer it from hers to her husband’s mouth in a loving gesture of a wife in her culture. He received it smiling and spoke.

“A tasty finish to this excellent meal from the most beautiful woman in the world who I’m so lucky to have as a wife.”

Brinda beamed with pleasure and spoke.

“Hanuman, you spoke of luck, and I’ve invoked the blessings of Laxmi on our time together this evening. Later I’ll reveal my secret, but you play with James while I clear away the dishes and clean up the kitchen and then I want you to put work out of your mind. No work tonight just you and me and I want to hear more of your complements as I’m sure I’m not as beautiful as you told me I was that evening in the apartment before we were permitted to marry but I still want to hear you say that.”

Anthony looked suddenly energized. His wife had spent all her love on the baby since he was born, and he was her second interest now, but he was OK with that as he adored Brinda and delighted to see her taking such an interest in their son who he equally adored. He settled down on the floor contentedly with James as his son played with his toys. Then when Brinda signalled it was time he took James to his room and read to him until the boy drifted off to sleep while Brinda watched. Then she led him to the bedroom and pointed to the raki on his pillow.

Look what I found when I was tidying up the drawers today, Hanuman. You took a pledge when you received that from me that you didn’t understand at that time fully. I want you to put that on now and I’ll do that for you. Then I want you to tell me about how you fell in love with me and how you feel about me and our son now and I want to hear it repeatedly while you hold me. As I’m putting this Rakhi on your arm for the first time, you’d want to give me a gift in return as that’s our custom. I know it’s not the appropriate time of the year but it’s what I want tonight. I’ve whispered to Laxmi what I’d like you to give me as your return gift, but it must be what you want to give.”

The next morning as they woke Anthony was still wearing his Rakhi looking a bit worse for wear and Brinda was radiant and still clinging to him as she’d done without moving all night. She leaned over and kissed her husband tenderly.

“I think you and Laxmi were on the same wavelength last evening and I’m so happy with my gift what shall we name them?”

Anthony laughed.

“Brinda we’ve been trying for a while now without success and the doctors don’t seem to be helping. Why are you anticipating what I think you’re referring to and why plural.”

“I just know Hanuman and with your permission I’d like to give them Indian names not too hard for Australians to get to pronounce. Would you permit me to call them Chandra and Geeta?”

“I’d be more than happy with that my beautiful wife. I just hope you’re not disappointed.”

A few months later the doctor confirmed what Brinda had already felt in her body without telling anyone. It was now time to share the good news with her husband when he came home from work that evening, so she cooked up another celebratory meal to feed him before breaking the news then passing that good news on to her in laws and parents then the rest of the extended family. She stood by the door with James now able to walk around holding onto her leg waiting for her husband to appear. It was a happy news they had to share around that evening, and Anthony beamed at the thought of being a father once again.

Many months later Brinda lay in her hospital bed with Chandra and Geeta snugly settled by her side under the watchful eye of a nurse while the extended family gathered to offer congratulations. They’d waited impatiently in the waiting room for the nurse to give them permission to enter.

Chandrakant beamed with pleasure at this new addition to his grandchildren list and spoke.

“We have been so concerned when you were unable to produce more children over the past few years Brinda, and the doctors did not give us any hope. How did you manage it this time?”

Brinda smiled at her husband standing proudly surveying his two children.

“I think it had a lot to do with Hanuman and the goddess Pitaji.”

They all looked at each other in puzzlement waiting for clarification. But nothing further was said while Anthony and his wife looked at each other knowingly. Laxmi had certainly lived up to her reputation in the eyes of Brinda and Anthony loved her too much to spoil her excitement by expressing his thoughts on the matter.

Conclusion.

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